Psychotic Reactions

Today's post will be somewhat episodic; I've been reading a newly-released Lester Bangs compendium, and am thinking in very short chapters.

THE QUEEN OF DENIAL

So you say you don't have the time/space/patience for the blocking your knitwear so desperately needs?

Here at the House of Gidget, we are currently practicing what I like to call The Mental Block.

Based on an ancient principle taught in Hebrew school that merely THINKING about doing a good deed gives you the same heavenly credit as actually doing it, The Mental Block imparts a more pleasing form to your knitting with a minimum of physical exertion. Simply take the finished item, fold it into a small rectangle and put it at the bottom of your sweater drawer (the presence of finished sweaters will encourage it to conform to the desired shape.) Leave it there for no less than three days, and try to spend several minutes each day WILLING your item to mold itself to the proper dimensions. When you take it out, you'll notice a remarkable improvement in fit, drape, and texture. If not, replace in drawer and repeat until desired result is achieved.

URGENT - SAVE THIS DOG

If you live in the San Diego area and own a tan and white cocker spaniel (or know someone who does), read this NOW and help someone rescue a dog stranded in Mexico.

METAL MELTDOWN

Sorry to let you down, Em, I had to give up on the 'Rock' emblem on my Frida. Intarsia in the round was whupping my ass, and unless I can figure out a way to do this that doesn't involve carrying the yarn across the back (creating a hideous, lumpy mass) or weaving in approximately 30 ends, I'm going to have to hold off until the next time I knit something on straights.

LOVING LINDA...LESS

I'm feeling considerably less warm and fuzzy toward Ms. Ronstadt despite her recent outspoken support of Michael Moore and '9/11' after my husband reminded me that she accepted half a million dollars to play Sun City in 1983 (as reported by Rolling Stone.) I know that many of us made ill-advised decisions during the '80's, but unfortunate haircuts and misguided fashion choices beat the hell out of supporting Apartheid.

Comments

[rebecca]

thanks for the reminder about linda and sun city! i had forgotten all about that. perchance she has repented?

[Em]

Dude, now I'm gonna have that Stevie Van Zandt song, "I..I...I...I...ain't gonna play Sun Cit-ay" in my head all day. Except now I'm gonna picture Stevie as Silvio. Jarring.

Just noticed you're reading Lovely Bones. Let me know when you're done. I must know what you thought.

[Stephanie]

I practice a similar blocking style, though I have refined the technique by piling other items on top of the item being psychically blocked. I refuse to believe that this doesn't work, and instead imagine that it is simply very, very slow.

[spaazlicious]

Hey, thanks for the shout out for cocker help, I appreciate it, and I've posted an update (happy, happy).

I loved The Lovely Bones, I read most of it aloud to my husband on a car trip, but had a hard time in parts for the sniveling it produced.

Re: Linda...can you honestly say you're the same person, and totally proud of who you were/what you did in 1983?
I remember rockin' out to Toto. 'nuff said.

[Rachael]

I not only practice that blocking style, but I believe that it works for non-knitted items, too. And for laundry. If a pair of jeans has been at the bottom of the pile for a REALLY long time, the pressure of the other clothes pushes out the dirt, rendering them perfectly wearable. Again.

[Sharon]

How come I never learned that at my Hebrew School? All I ever was taught was dumb old Hebrew. I like your lessons a whole lot better.

[xtina]

I always thought that the road to hell was paved with good intentions. Now I find out it's the raod to heaven?! Right On!

Also, about intarsia in the round. Doesn't work. That's what embroidery on knitting is all about, yo! So rad and so easy. I give it four thumbs up.